Your shotgun is magical. When you shoot people in the face with it their maladies are cured. The problem is convincing people to let you try it.

“Throughout our collective human history, there have always been unsolvable, unanswered questions on the workings of nature and the universe. Stephen Hawking’s black holes, Richard Feynman’s quantum mechanics, to name a few. Yet just because we don’t understand a phenomenon doesn’t mean that it’s not true, it doesn’t mean it don’t exist. The world somehow continues to work this way, regardless of how you explain it.

“You see, this is exactly what is happening here. It’s not something that I can explain, it’s not something Einstein can explain, but it works, whether I like it or not. And it is one hundred percent foolproof – it is a guaranteed success. My words may not mean much, so you should just take a look at the number of recommendations and reviews I have. They are not fake. None of them at all.

“Even if you saw it for your own eyes, you wouldn’t believe it until you experienced it for yourself. People always call out a magician, claiming to know his cheap tricks until they get invited on stage to experience it for themselves. This is real, and trusting me is the only true way of verifying that fact. If you don’t try it, you will never know what you are missing.

“It’s like a leap of faith. You believe in God, yes? You believe in miracles, yes? Well, then this should be easy for you. Just have faith in what I say, and in what others say, for if so many people attest to my skills, they certainly can’t be wrong. Countless people have gone before you and come out unscathed, it will be no different with yours. Faith is all you need. Just close your eyes, bow your head, believe, and you will be cured, forever and ever. Amen”

I cocked my gun and took aim at the bowed head in front of me….

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